The Three Loops: Overthinking Patterns That Keep Us Stuck
You know you’re stuck in an overthinking loop when you’ve replayed the same scenario 12 times, given it four different endings, and still feel no closer to a solution.
The sneaky thing about these loops? They disguise themselves as “being thorough” or “thinking it through” — but really, they’re just mental treadmills. They burn a lot of energy but get you absolutely nowhere.
And if you’ve ever wondered why your therapist can spot your loop before you can, it’s because these patterns show up everywhere. Different details, same mental traps.
Today, I want to walk you through the three most common ones I see — and maybe help you name your own.
Loop #1: The Replay Loop
What it is:
The mental rerun. You rehash a past event or conversation over and over, hoping to figure out what you should have said or done.
Why it happens:
Your brain thinks reviewing the past will prevent future mistakes. Underneath, it’s usually about fear of judgment or rejection.
How it sounds:
“I can’t believe I said ‘you too’ to the barista.”
“Why did I speak up in that meeting? Now my boss probably thinks I’m difficult.”
Why it keeps you stuck:
You can’t rewrite history — but replaying it keeps you trapped in regret instead of learning from it and moving forward.
Loop #2: The What-If Loop
What it is:
A future-focused spiral where you imagine every possible outcome and try to prepare for all of them.
Why it happens:
It’s anxiety’s way of trying to control uncertainty. If you can predict every possible scenario, maybe you can avoid pain.
How it sounds:
“What if I don’t get this job? What if I do and hate it? What if I can’t quit because I need the money?”
“What if they get mad at me? What if I lose the friendship? What if I end up alone?”
Why it keeps you stuck:
Planning feels productive, but endless “what-iffing” often stops you from taking any action at all.
Loop #3: The Fix-It Loop
What it is:
Endlessly trying to “solve” an emotional problem by thinking about it until it feels “done.”
Why it happens:
Your brain confuses thinking about a problem with resolving it. Often tied to perfectionism and discomfort with uncertainty.
How it sounds:
“If I can just figure out why they acted that way, I’ll feel better.”
“If I keep analyzing my relationship, I’ll know for sure if it’s right or wrong.”
Why it keeps you stuck:
Emotions can’t always be solved with logic — they need to be processed, not “fixed.”
The Common Thread
All three loops are different versions of the same thing: avoiding discomfort.
The Replay Loop avoids regret by trying to rewrite the past.
The What-If Loop avoids uncertainty by trying to predict the future.
The Fix-It Loop avoids emotional discomfort by trying to think your way out of feelings.
They feel safe because they give you something to “do.” But they also keep you stuck exactly where you are.
Step One: Spot the Loop
The first step in breaking free is simply noticing:
“Oh, I’m in a loop right now.”
That recognition creates just enough space between you and the thought to start shifting out of it.
Step two? That’s where it gets interesting — and that’s exactly what we’ll get into next.
Next Week for Paid Subscribers
I’m sharing The Breaking the Loop Toolkit — a step-by-step guide for spotting your loop in real time and shifting your brain into forward motion.
Inside, you’ll get:
The 10-second interrupt technique that actually works
The question I ask clients that stops spirals mid-stream
A printable “loop exit plan” to keep by your bed or desk
→ [Subscribe here to get the toolkit when it drops]